JCW’s Blackout Brutality comes to the Majestic Theatre in Detroit. Hosted by ICP, the action in the ring was wild and over the top.

Welcome back to the ROX-TV website. For all of the returning viewers, we appreciate your following and to the new readers just tuning in, we hope you enjoy yourself. Last night the Insane Clown Posse hosted the return of the Juggalo Championship Wrestling at the fabulous Majestic Theatre on Woodward Avenue in downtown Detroit. As always the Juggalo Universe was excited for the event, which also aired on Patreon for those that couldn’t make it to the Motor City.

The weather in the Murder Mitten was nice and by 9:00pm Woodward Ave was feeling just right. No need for a hoodie, but also warm enough that you weren’t freezing your balls off without a jacket. The moon was round and high in the sky, and the mayhem was fast approaching. The DMC hospital was looming in the distance and the street lights had come alive.

After checking in at the front box office, I drifted onto the Main Floor to scope out the action. There was a vendor handing out flashlights as I cruised by and as he offered me a hand held light, I politely declined…although I was curious about what kind role the lights would play. Soon the moment had arrived that the Juggalos in the audience and at home had been waiting for….SHOWTIME!

[Author’s Note: Everyone enjoys a show differently and I am no different. As I have gotten older, I’ve really grown to appreciate not only the show itself, but also the buildings and venues that host the events. Twenty years ago I would have kept both eyes glued to the ring and the action, but these days I float around like a ghost haunting a shitty mansion. I watch the members of the audience almost as much as the Main Event.

I study the architecture of the buildings and marvel at these old gems, hunkered down and slumbering in the heart of Motown. I dig on the Marquee Signs and the stages, hell even the bums if I have enough time. This event was no different and as much as I focused on the wrestling, I was also taking in a “live” event with other human beings. The last year or so of life in the Murder Mitten has really been shitty with the lockdowns. I have my own opinions on that but this article is about Juggalo shit, not fucking politics….so I adjourn. Anyway, back to the story]

DJ Clay was on the “wheels of steel” although these days, I guess “wheels of digital” might be the correct way to say it. But, I was born in 1980 and grew up in nineties (far better than the sixties, at least from what I’ve seen and heard in my own travels) so it’s the “wheels of steel” or we would just call em “Technics” because that’s what we spun on Knob Hill. Jumpsteady made his way to the ring and gave the crowd the opening run down for the show.

9:47 “This is a Blackout Match”

The ring girl was looking good, as she strutted her stuff with the event card. As Jumpsteady announced the wrestlers I took a few quick pictures and videos. The Juggalos in attendance were amped up, armed with flashlights and beer cans. The night was going shaping up to be a wild ride.

9:57 Match Two

I apologize ahead of time for not being a seasoned sports reporter, I’m just a Juggalo so catching every bone chilling moment and correct spelling of the wrestler’s middle names is not what I do. I merely absorb and try to hold on. I believe the second match had a pretty far out looking punk rocker with a vibrant mohawk. If I remember correctly, he came out with some wild ass looking bat, duct taped with thirty feet of barbed wire, or that’s what it looked like to me. Whatever it was, I wouldn’t want to be clocked in the head with it. His opponent came roaring out and the match soon began.

I don’t remember the lights at the start of the match, but at some point, several minutes into the second battle, a box of large fluorescent glass bulbs showed up in the ring. I could see that the flashlights would be useless in this death match, because grinding glass was the name of the game.

The glass attack started off harmless enough, when the Mohawk Kid smashed his opponent in the face with one of the bulbs. I know if your sitting at home, your probably thinking “so what?” it’s just a glass tube. That much is correct, but that glass has a tendency to cut and explode when used as a weapon. I wasn’t really prepared for flying glass, but when they started swinging those tubes around, the shit actually flew into the crowd forcing me to turn away. I had not factored in flying glass into the equation and it caught me off guard, but was very entertaining.

By 10:05pm both wrestlers had blood streaming down their faces. This was not fake, this was real blood and real pain. The Mohawk Kid (not real name, but I’m not a real sports journalists so we are even) seemed to have a slightly worse injuries but would pay back the favor. A few seconds later he stuffed two giant light bulbs into the other guy’s shirt (sorry, I didn’t catch his name…same reason as before) and smashed them with serious force, causing a shit load of glass to be trapped in the guy’s shirt as he got pummeled.

10:21 Smoke Break at the Marquee

By this time I needed a cigarette and decided to grab some fresh air with my smoke out front in the smoking section. Like I said earlier the weather was perfect and there was a small crowd of Juggalos smoking cigarettes and blunts under the bright lights. This was another moment that I took to take it all in for posterity. I’m getting older and you never know when the last big night might be your last. I pretty sure I got at least twenty more goods years left in the tank, but just in case, I took a nice long look around. The traffic had diminished greatly and other than some poor bastards getting arrested by DPD a block away on a traffic stop, the street was quiet. My cigarette tasted like shit, so I crushed it out and headed back inside to see the rest of the show. I believe there was a female bout going on, but I missed the first half fucking around outside and the end waiting in line for a bottled water.

10:38 Lights Out Match “The Weedman vs Officer Rod Street

Now this was an exciting and entertaining match. Obviously the contrast between a man of the law like Ofc. Rod Street and the bud smoking Weedman (who by the way, was smoking dope coming out of the big curtain. He passed the smoke to Violent J and he took a drag before passing the fire back) couldn’t have been any bigger. I had seen Officer Rod Street Wrestle before and his shenanigans were familiar to me. He was over the top, with his partner (who taped up the ring as best he could, before someone snatched the roll and tossed it into the crowd) in tow. Weedman was in amazing form, toking his ass off in the ring and sharing his kind buds with numerous Juggalos and Juggalettes in the crowd before the bell sounded. Eventually he tossed the roach into the crowd and a Juggalette swooped it up and finished it off. This was a “blackout match” so the lights were flicked off and the only illumination came from the Juggalos and Juggalettes in the crowd with those flashlights. I found the situation interesting and also had flashbacks from MIP Parties being raided in the nineties with flashlights in the eye. It was disorientating at times, but created a very interesting environment for the match. I remember The Weedman launching “Hot Rod” over the ropes, but like some many other things I’ve experienced in life….looking back now I have no idea who actually won. I hope it was The Weedman though (gotta root for the weed on this one).

10:50 The return of Mosh Pit Mike and the world famous Chuey

This was a wild match, with three tag team groups joining in the mayhem. There was a couple of “fitness” dorks who came out to the ring and started whipping Twinkies at the crowd. I managed to snag one as a souvenir because I’m a Juggalo and that’s the kind of shit Juggalos do. The guy had a box of them and was throwing them wildly into the crowd. I put the one I managed to snag into my front pocket for the duration of the event and it now rests in my kitchen. I’m not sure how I will store this odd piece of Juggalo history with my standard gear, but I will figure something out later (any classic slacker knows the magic…put it off until a more appropriate time, perhaps in the future, but certainly not today). I believe the second team was “Boys from the hood” or some shit like that, but my absolute favorites were my homies Mosh Pit Mike and the hulking monster Chuey.

Both of whom I consider friends and spent a nice chunk of time with crashing around the Five Points Neighborhood in Denver, when “Death by Denver” show was going down at the glorious Roxy Theatre (Hosted by SCUM and the LSP family, it was fucking dope. Ouija Macc and DJ Chunk had blew the roof off, along with Cody Manson and many others. One for the weed scrolls for sure). I was hoping Mosh and Chuey would be able to crush the fitness turds and the boys from the woods.

The action took off immediately and bodies started flying. At one point Chuey had a couple of forks and was jabbing cats in the head, with even Mosh Pit getting stuck by accident. There were several chairs tossed in for good measure and by the end, Mosh and Chuey were victorious and also soaking in blood.

11:07 Madman Pondo takes the ring

As the matches kept rolling, the action continued to reign down, like Faygo 2-liters falling down a ski hill at Mt. Holly. It was a wild night. I had never scene Madman Pondo wrestle in person, so it was another dope milestone for me. I believe this was match six, but who was really keeping track. I had long given up, in favor of just enjoying the scenery. I believe Pondo won, but don’t quote me boy “cause I ain’t said shit”.

11:34 Match 7

I remember match seven because there was this wild ass dude who came out with a song from “House of a thousand corpses” and what looked like maybe a pig mask, but my eyes are bad and I was running on empty. He moved around the ring rather hauntingly and I was creeped out just slightly by his trancy movements. The match went down and the Juggalos screamed for more.

By midnight or so, time had run out on the adventure and it was time to hit the long road home. For anyone who missed the chaos of the event, I believe that it can be purchased and viewed on Patreon. Well, that’s about all the time I have for this piece. Please keep checking back for all kinds of strange and interesting items, only on ROX-TV.

 

Signing Off,

Mike Shepard

ROX-TV Head Writer

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