ROX-TV goes back in time for a 2nd look at some of the best concept and sugar cereals of the 1980’s. See if your favorite made the cut.

Welcome back to the ROX-TV website. As always we appreciate the returning readers and welcome any first timers. We cover lots of different items and just like the Michigan weather, if you don’t like what you see just wait five minutes. ROX-TV likes to jump into music, movies, the arts, and even breakfast cereal from time to time and you never know what we might be running or talking about. We celebrate all things unique, as well as items that we find interesting. Tonight we will be looking at a topic that everyone can relate to, and that is breakfast cereal.

Now I know millions of people eat cereal every day for breakfast, but we are zeroing in on a very specific branch of the cereal family. The best kind to be exact and that is “sugar” brands that were made and marketed towards young Americans and also the marriage between entertainment and cereal, which was a very lucrative business for the food and entertainment industry.

I’ve come up with a list of my favorite cereals from the 1980’s, and some hold overs that have managed to survive through the years. I think this is a topic that we can all relate to, because back in the day, with limited avenues for entertainment (prior to the internet and cell phones and other devices), the cereal box was almost as good as a commercial or show. They usually featured some of the best cartoon figures of the day, were brightly colored, had two bit games on the back, and occasionally a toy inside.

The ritual of the morning breakfast went along these lines: you popped the top, filled up a bowl, added the milk, then stared mindlessly at the cereal box. It was almost like a trance, and as the kids chopped down on the contents like a robot, the eyes wandered over every inch of the box. A kid might start with the front, then move onto the back of the box where there was a little more interactive content, and finally growing bored of that, would examine the nutritional side before tipping the bowl and finishing off the milk and rogue pieces of cereal hanging on for dear life.

As a kid, I didn’t have a lot of sugar cereals in the house. They cost a few bucks and the family didn’t usually have extra money for the fun stuff. We usually had “puffed rice” unflavored in a giant economy bag (no box) and had to add sugar manually if we had some laying about. Occasionally, the grocery store might run a special on some bullshit like Wheaties (which had no thrills or chills) and my dad would get four boxes. But the good shit was usually out of reach. My Grandpa and Grandma Shepard also kept a few selections on hand though and it was not uncommon to go there and eat two or three bowls of the grade-A stuff (Count Chocula, Cocoa Puffs, etc…).

The one thing we did get as kids though, was when the flu was going around (and it did often back in the 1980’s) and we would be laid up for a few days with the pukes and shits (basically Covid, with vomiting), nothing could be eaten for a day or two. When we were well enough, my parents would let us pick out a box of “sugar cereal” as a consolation prize for the nightmare that was the 80’s flu bug. This was our chance to get anything we wanted and our picks often pissed off the other siblings because if it was something we didn’t like, it was a missed opportunity to chow down. My little brother always seemed to pick out shit I hated, so he got the box to himself. A pick that everyone liked might only last one day.

I had a few friends, whose parents didn’t mind buying the good stuff and on sleepovers, I would gorge myself on “Golden Grams“, “Lucky Charms”, or whatever had a high level of sugar content. You could say that “sugar cereal” was the cornerstone of growing up. Today, I still buy the shit religiously. Why? Because I can afford all the shit that was out of reach as a kid. I don’t even like cereal anymore, but it won’t stop me from having three or four boxes of my childhood favorites. I will keep them in the cupboard and just look at them, like a trophy I was finally able to capture after all these years. When the cereal gets stale, I throw it out, and start all over again. Why? Because I can.

Most of the time, especially on Saturdays, if I had access to the dynamite selections, it would coincide with Saturday morning cartoons (if you’re old enough to remember than you know what I’m talking about). It was a thing and when the Cartoon Network came along, life was good. I will examine some of the cartoons at a later time but for now, lets get to my top picks for “Sugar Cereal/Content Cereal”. Here we go…

ROX-TV’s Top Cereal Picks 

Era: 1980’s 

 

#1 Rocky Road Cereal

Production Run: 1986

Discontinued: 1989

Product Description: Vanilla and Chocolate corn puffs alongside marbits (defined as a small piece of dehydrated marshmallow used in breakfast cereals) with a nutty and chocolate coating.

Mascots: Choco (guitar), Marsha (singer), and Van (guitar)

So, the basic concept of this cereal, was a little music group, consisting of the above-mentioned mascots…had a band and they were featured on the front of the box. My first encounter with this cereal had to be closer to the magical year of 1989 because we discovered it, really enjoyed it, and then it was gone. There has been an odd, repeating theme in my life and somehow it governs everything I do.

It goes like this: I usually show up for the beginning of things or the end of the things, but never for the safety of the middle ground. There have been some exceptions to this, but by in large, my presence can be seen as a curse or a blessing. Something good is coming or everything is about to die (again there are exceptions to this, but the bulk of the data fights against long term consistency most of the time). You could call it a gift or a curse. I get to see lots of changes, but usually miss out on a steady itinerary.

So, what’s worse than finding something you really dig? The god damn brand getting cancelled. All those missed Saturday morning opportunities to make sweet sweet magic. No sir, Rocky Road was like a one and done type of deal. For years after 1989, we searched far and wide for the cereal, but there was no relief coming. There was no internet back then or way to know that the cereal brand had been discontinued, so it created this weird space where it might be available, and thus a sliver of hope was in the air. Over the coming years though, it was chalked up as a loss. If you can’t find what you’re looking for within a few years, there is a good chance its dead. Nowadays you can look it up in a second, but in the 1980’s there was no way to do so. I only got a few chances to enjoy this cereal, and it remains forever seared into my mind. What would I do for a bowl of this right now? Almost anything.

#2 Pac Man Cereal

Production Run: 1983

Discontinued: 1989

Product Description: Sweetened puffs of corn and amazing marbits in the shape of Pac Man, Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and Clyde

This is a brand right out of my childhood dreams. Although I don’t remember having it more than once or twice, the imagery and blending of the famous arcade game with marshmallows and puffed corn also never left me. Just like the god damn Rocky Road, I remember it was around and then it wasn’t. I suppose good things never last forever and this was a prime example.

No one on earth can say they’ve never heard of the infamous Pac Man franchise. If you haven’t heard of it, I just have to ask one thing: where the hell have you been? The arcade game is legendary and was released in 1980 by Namco (A Japanese video game and entertainment company originally based out of Toyko, with more branches developed over time in California, London, and Tiawan).

The arcade version was a powerhouse and generated $14 Billion Dollars in revenue (as of 2016). The game was so popular that it had a hit single by Buckner and Garcia called “Pac Man Fever” which went gold with the single and album. They would eventually sell two and half million copies world wide.

Pac Man would be named “The Best Commercial Arcade Game” in 1982 at the Arcade Awards. The game also gave birth to a successful cartoon, back by Hanna-Barbara in 1982. The 30-minute cartoon, which ran on Saturday featured 44 episodes on ABC and was the number one watched cartoon in 1982 (September 25th, 1982 and ran until November 5th, 1983).

They really had a good product on their hands blending cartoons, video games, and sugar cereal. The cartoon wasn’t half bad either. I’m not sure when I seen them, but I vividly remember the cartoon. They must have ran re-runs of the series later on and that is the only reasonable way that I could remember it. I also would later watch episodes of the cartoon as an adult on YouTube. Great cereal, great idea, and gone far to soon.

#3 MR. T Cereal

Production Run: 1984

Discontinued: 1993 (according to one source, others have the date as unknown)

Product Description: Sweetened corn and oats, in the shape of a “T”.

Growing up in the 1980’s I was exposed to some classic television. We didn’t have the internet or cell phones, or the fancy social media platforms. If it wasn’t beamed into your house on the telly, it may as well not exist at all. Back in the day Mr. T was on fire. You may remember him from the hit action series “The A Team” as B. A. Baracus. Mr. T was born on May 21st, 1952 and grew up to become a well recognized actor and professional wrestler. With his trademark Mohawk hair style and eighty million gold chains, Mr. T was a powerhouse in American culture at the time.

As a kid, when people would wear more than one gold (or fake gold) necklace, we would refer to the chains as “a Mr. T starter kit”. He played a villain in 1982 as “Clubber Lang” and fought Slyvester Stallone in Rocky III. The guy was everywhere, so a cereal with his likeness was entirely appropriate. For kids from the 1990’s, they may remember the classic scene in Pee Wee Herman’s movie “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure”, when Pee Wee has a bowl of the good stuff. Although there were no marshmallows in the cereal, it was still a tough mother.

#4 Circus Fun

Production Run: 1986

Discontinued: 1989

Product Description: Fruit flavored puffs shaped like balls and hoops. The marbits featured shapes of lions, horses, elephants, and bears.

I will admit this one made the list for a few reasons. One, I think Juggalos can see the appeal of clown mascot and brightly colored box. Two, on some level this cereal also kind of creeps me out. Not all clowns are fun and joyful and although this mascot is probably meant to be just that, on some cellular DNA level, this cereal gives me the creeps. This is the only brand on the list that I never actually remember eating, but the visuals speak/spoke to me. I remember it being around. I’ve read reviews of the cereal, where people either loved it or hated it. Some complained the marbits were usually stale and left much to be desired. Since I can never recall actually eating it, I must remain neutral. The commercial was commented on as being a bit “off” and I must agree. It left me with a weird vibe…

Like many other brands, 1989 became the year this cereal was no more. Again, I don’t understand what the hell was going on in 1989, but it seems to have ushered in the demise of many cereals. Maybe the industry was moving on to more modern brands or that sugar cereal as an individual brand, just didn’t have the staying power.

I remember them coming and going like a ship in the night. You might catch a glimpse, but usually there were more shiny objects to buy and consume, which helped people forget about the brands that came before. I’m assuming it was a winning strategy, to change with the times, otherwise they probably wouldn’t had messed with the re-volving door or new ideas and concepts.

#5 Nerds

Production Run: 1985

Discontinued: 1987

Product Description: Tiny crunchy sweetened oat puffs. Flavors included Orange ‘n’ Cherry and Strawberry ‘n’ Grape

This cereal lives on in memory for a few reasons. Mainly my affinity for Nerds is actually because it was and still is one of my favorite candies. I’ve eaten countless boxes of this candy over the years, probably enough to fill a small warehouse and that’s no bullshit. The candy was great. With that being said, the cereal was not one that I enjoyed at all. It was like a good idea on paper, but translated rather difficultly to a breakfast cereal. Some things are just good the way they are. The problem is when there is a belief that because one thing is good, it can be exploited into other markets and still experience the initial success.

One feature of the cereal which was interesting because I don’t recall another cereal doing it, was that the cereal had two bags of different flavors in each box. The cereal was reported at times to give an interesting and colorful stool of bright color. Although alarming, I don’t think is caused any permanent damage, but I doubt there were any studies performed on this phenomenon. This cereal had a very short shelf life and the reasons I think are obvious. Mostly it just wasn’t very good, but it was visually pleasing and the box colorful.

Well, that about does it for this edition of memory lane with ROX-TV. Keep coming back for the odds and ends of American Culture, Underground Culture, and everything else that we dig on. Coming soon: The best cereal brands of the 1990’s. Don’t miss it.

Signing Off,

Mike Shepard

ROX-TV Head Writer

kidvicious810

shepard2909@hotmail.com